Recently, I spent some time in Geneva – which was glorious, though I have to admit, my peely-wally Scottish sun is not designed to withstand temperatures of nearly 40 degrees.
Then, just last week, I travelled to Jersey for my sister’s wedding.
Such a joyous occasion and the bride looked simply stunning.
But before leaving on my Geneva trip, I was summoned by the optician. My contact lens visual test was overdue and if I didn’t make an appointment to go in to the store for my check-up, they would cancel my lens replacement scheme. OK calm yourself… I’m on my way.
After calling to make the appointment, I was instructed to wear my contact lenses on the day and to bring my glasses with me – because they will put some dye into my eyes and it will be necessary to remove the lenses afterwards. All clear.
On the morning of my eye-test, I followed the instructions, duly inserted my contact lenses and headed off into the city. Within minutes of starting the test, the optician remarked that something was amiss. My sight was way more blurry than it should be. Is there any possibility that I could have mixed up the lenses and be wearing them in the wrong eye? Right lens/left eye. Left lens/right eye.
Well what does it matter? I enquire without really answering – because they are both the same.
No, they are not the same she said. The distance may well be the same, but the prescriptions are very different.
Oh, I say, rather sheepishly. Then YES – its more than possible.
Upon her instruction, I switched the lenses and she starts the test all over again.
Left eye is good. Results are more aligned to what she was expecting.
But right eye – still blurred.
Maybe it’s another left lens? I offer.
Is that possible she asks? Well – yes…. If they came out of the same box?
I notice a look that reveals she is trying to hide her exasperation.
I’m so sorry – I thought both eyes were the same now. I said (trying to defend my stupidity).
She reminds me again – for distance yes, but the full prescriptions are very different in each eye. You have a stigmatism in one eye for starters!
She then goes on to suggest that we abort the test for today but make a further appointment in the gap between my Geneva trip and my Jersey trip.
And I was sent home with a flee in my ear and a firm instruction NOT to wear my lenses until my next appointment. So sadly, no sunglasses in Geneva!
But why am I telling you a story about my contact lens appointment? Well you know, it was rather embarrassing at the time, but once I let that go, I was able to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I found it quite funny – and I figured you too might enjoy a giggle at my expense. I hope it has brightened your day.
But there is a more serious point too.
What I did that day was stupid.
And not for the first time. I often do stupid things. .
So often in fact, that I give these moments a name. I refer to them as my ‘Bridget Jones’ moments … and there has been more than a few over the years.
But despite the fact I did something very stupid, I don’t claim to BE stupid. I don’t see MYSELF as stupid. I see myself as someone who is generally smart … but who (sometimes) does stupid things.
And that is a very important distinction.
You see, I’ve been spending quite a lot of time recently exploring the principle of IDENTITY and what I have learned is that identity is the strongest force in the human personality because we are compelled to behave in a way that supports how we see ourselves.
We all feel stupid at times, and we all do stupid things at times, but if you make the jump into believing that you ARE stupid, then that belief about WHO you are will influence your behaviour for the rest of your life. Because you will go through your life, day in, day out – (unconsciously) seeking opportunities to prove to yourself that you are indeed STUPID.
It’s a weird situation I know, but we all do it.
What is really important to understand is this.
If there is an area of your life that you have been seeking to change for some time, but always self-sabotage and return to your old ways, then more than likely it’s because you haven’t made an identity shift.
Let me share another example.
2 former smokers made the decision to give up – 3 months ago.
A fellow smoker approaches them and offers both a cigarette.
Person A responds: No thanks, I’m trying to give up
Person B responds: No thanks, I don’t smoke
Now which of those 2 people above do you think will be more successful in giving up smoking over the long-term? The answer of course is Person B because person B has experienced an identity shift. He no longer ‘sees himself’ as a smoker.
This is a truly fascinating topic and I plan to explore it way more in the months ahead.
But in the meantime, I invite you to think about that one area of your life you have been trying to change but continually self-sabotage, and to ask yourself – how do you identify?
And here’s a big clue.
Those I AM statements you make…. They are hugely powerful, so pay attention to them over the coming weeks. Whether you say them aloud or you silently speak them, start to notice. And you will uncover some important clues.
And in the meantime, take good care of your eyes 🤣
x Until next time, sending you love x
I would love to get to know you more, connect with me here.