What Scares You The Most?

One of the reasons why so many of us feel ‘stuck’ is that we limit our own experience of life by remaining firmly inside our  ‘comfort zones’ – choosing to avoid discomfort at all costs.

But the more we are willing to put ourselves out there, to take risks, try new things and even be willing to fail at them, the more successful we will be.   

And the easier it will be for us to create a life in which we feel Alive, Vibrant and truly Inspired.

If you want to make some changes and live life on your terms, then you have to be willing to try new things and experience some discomfort along the way.

Change is hard.  I get that.  It can be a challenge to do things differently. And it is hugely uncomfortable to risk failure or rejection.  But the only way that you can evolve and grow is by overcoming the reaction that your brain has when you even think about stepping outside of your comfort zone.  

Here’s the thing: putting yourself out there, applying for the new role, booking your first solo adventure or telling an old friend that your feelings run deep and risking rejection is scary, right? 

But consider the alternative…  that you hide yourself away behind your computer screen for years on end?  Doing what you have always done and never daring to ask for more?  

Hiding is NOT the safe option.  

If you believe that by (not) applying for that new role and (possibly)  getting turned down, that you are avoiding rejection, think again.  Because if you don’t allow yourself to grow – to apply for the job and RISK being rejected by other people, then YOU are the one doing the rejection of yourself ahead of time, and you’re disguising it as ‘playing safe’.

It’s the opposite of safety.
It’s called self-rejection, and it’s just as unpleasant.

Let’s face it, the reason why so many people choose not to pursue their dreams is that they are afraid.  They are constantly trying to avoid negative emotion.  

So here’s the real question.  What scares you the most?

The fear of change?  Or the fear of staying the same.

1. The fear of change
Discomfort is the currency of dreams because we must experience it in order to evolve and grow, to be in unfamiliar situations, to have our identity shift, to learn new things. 

All of these are going to be uncomfortable because they are unfamiliar and don’t have the added padding of numbing out or self-medicating.  

So one of the things that encourage my clients to do is to look for the discomfort paving the way – to the place you want to go.

And instead of trying to avoid, bypass or detour around it, move towards the discomfort.  For the more accomplished you become at ‘being uncomfortable’, the better you get at everything.

But how do any of us get good at discomfort?

By being uncomfortable. And being ok with the feeling.

Think about it – if the worst that can happen as we pursue our life goals is an uncomfortable emotional reaction, then what’s the big deal?   

If the worst that can happen is we miss the mark, we don’t quite achieve that big goal in the timeframe we thought we would, but we’ve given it our all, we may feel slightly disappointed, but we can be proud and excited that we put ourselves out there, took the risk and we gave it our all.  And feel proud of the person that we became in the process.

2. The fear of staying the same
Then there is the discomfort of NOT evolving, not growing, not pursuing your dreams, not allowing yourself to be who you are meant to be – the best possible version of you.

We can stay just where we are and feel that nudge of growth from the universe, notice the discomfort and then choose NOT to act to change our life in any way.  Instead, we self-medicate our way through the ‘pain’ with bad foods, chocolate, alcohol, mindless surfing of the internet – we all have our own ‘go to solutions’.

But as soon as you take away that false pleasure, as soon as you stop overeating, or drinking, mindlessly surfing the internet or watching reality TV show – whatever your medication of choice, then you are left with the reality of your life and a constant feeling of discontent or lack of fulfilment – because the universe has been nudging you forward and you are not listening.

I encourage you to look at your own life and make that choice.

Are you willing to settle into the discomfort of stagnation or are you ready to experience the discomfort of growth?  

The choice Is yours. 

x Until next time, sending you love x

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