With the start of each new year, we are inundated with articles, posts, and motivational hints about how to make this our BEST YEAR EVER!
And yes – I am very guilty of this myself. I love both creating and consuming this kind of stuff and do so like it’s going out of fashion. I even wrote about it in my blog last week.
But there are still many people who just don’t ‘get it’ and see it all as a whole lot of positive mumbo-jumbo.
So this article is written with a little hit of ‘reverse psychology’ and a spoonful of humour to ensure that you really ‘get it’ and that you fully understand the impact of the choices that you make moment by moment, day by day.
If you are afraid to make the changes necessary to improve your life and are happy & willing to bask in your own misery throughout 2020, then I am going to share some top tips to ensure that this is your most miserable year ever.
How To Ensure That Your Life Sucks
💎 BE SURE TO TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS EVERY DAY
Pay maximum attention and divert all of your energy to the things in your life that are not working or are causing you pain. A lot of pain.
Look at what you dislike and make lots of noise about it.
Notice it, focus on it, and talk to your friends about it.
Complain loudly and often!
You could even come up with a little comedy routine about it, so that you are celebrated for your “self-deprecating honesty”.
Develop the habit of thinking about everything that’s wrong in your life first thing in the morning, and last thing at night.
Allow yourself lots of opportunity to dwell and wallow in your misery.
💎 PLAY THE VICTIM
This one is crucial.
Make your problems more important than anyone else’s and be sure to position yourself as a victim who is simply not understood.
Don’t help others, never do anything unless you know you will get something back, and always be too proud and stubborn to accept outside assistance.
💎 DON’T INTERRUPT YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Let them lead you down the path!
If you want your life to suck, it is essential that you give your negative thoughts as much time as they ask for. In fact, let them multiply.
Go ahead and make shit up in your head all day long.
Make sure you don’t disrupt them by doing anything remotely positive, like journaling, meditating, exercising, helping other people, watching something that makes you laugh, or anything else that could possibly make you feel good.
💎 SPEND TIME WITH MISERABLE PEOPLE
Only surround yourself with people who dwell in their own misery.
Invite them into your space and let them suck up your time with their negative energy and sad, disempowering stories.
Ask for more details when something goes wrong. Never encourage them to reconsider the way they think about things. Allow their beliefs to taint your beliefs.
Spend a lot of time talking with them about the ways in which men, society, and life are all designed to make your life hard and ….. miserable!
💎 PAY ATTENTION TO CRITICS
Make sure your pay attention and put a lot of emphasis on what other people say, but particularly those who are professional critics or life-sucking energy vampires.
Few things will make your life suck more than listening to what people who have never achieved anything, created anything or taken a chance on anything, have to say.
If you look at someone’s life and there is nothing in it that inspires or excites you, you should definitely take what they say as gospel!
💎 DON’T EXERCISE
Good Heavens no!
Why would you do that to yourself? Why would you want a strong heart, lungs and bones, clear arteries, lower blood sugar, a healthier weight or regulated blood pressure. Why would you want to release endorphins — the “feel good” chemical — for free?
Far better to watch reality TV, immerse yourself in celebrity gossip, drink, smoke, shop, take drugs, eat junk food and sugar (lots of it) in order feel better.
💎 SAY NO TO NEW OPPORTUNITIES
Whatever you do, don’t take any risks.
Play small and be afraid.
Stay in your house and don’t accept invitations.
Don’t try to push any boundaries or do things differently.
It’s important to stick to your routine, especially if it’s so boring that you kind of realise that you are simply paying bills until you die.
💎 SAY YES WITHOUT BOUNDARIES
…But be sure to make yourself available to people who have no qualms about demanding your attention and/or emotional support.
Run yourself ragged helping them out, giving them a place to stay, cooking for them and cleaning up after them, accepting all kinds of bullshit behaviour, and then …… this is essential — blame yourself for feeling resentful.
This is the perfect cherry on top of a poisonous sundae!
And that’s it. Top tips to ensure that your 2020 is absolutely miserable!
Of course, there is always an alternative. But only YOU can decide what is right for you.
Change happens the INSTANT you decide. Really decide.
Decide now, and make it happen. Take responsibility.
It’s YOUR life. Be happy – you are so worth it.
x Until next time, sending you love x
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