There is so much going on around me at the moment and as I stand on the outside looking in, I become more and more aware of the incredible power that lies in Mastering your Mindset.
In taking control of your thoughts.
In understanding – your thoughts drive your feelings, which then dictate your actions.
What I have also noticed is how we, as human beings, continually invest time and effort in doing things that make us feel BAD.
I mean seriously. We do things every day to make ourselves feel bad.
You know when you receive the text message from a friend, partner or family member that upsets you. Why do we insist on reading and re-reading it 100 times? Why not just delete it, release the anger, hurt or pain and move on?
Why do you visit the Facebook page of a former friend or partner and get angry or jealous because (it appears) that they are having a whale of a time, now that they are no longer a part of your life?
We compare OUR lives to theirs and assume (that since they have it all together) that WE must have been the ‘bad guys’ in the relationship.
Why do we do these things? Can you see from the examples just how unhelpful this is? Have you ever been guilty of this kind of behaviour?
Here’s a top tip for you. What you see on FACEBOOK and INSTAGRAM – it’s not real!
What you see are ‘edited highlights’. Sure, your ex may have posed for the photo in front of the ocean whilst on holiday with his new partner. That’s real, the photo is available for all to see. But what you don’t get to see is that they had a blazing row just beforehand, or that he had to sleep on the sofa last night because he had too much to drink.
These ‘moments’ are excluded from the highlights reel.
You need to see Facebook, Instagram and the others for what they are. And if you start to become aware that scrolling through social media for 30 mins leaves you feeling a bit ‘bleugh’ – then the best thing you could ever do for yourself is to take a clean break from it all.
After 30 days you can assess whether you want to return to the experience of punishing yourself on a daily basis, because that is what you are doing when you engage in this way.
And in case it hasn’t occurred to you yet – the only person hurting here is YOU.
Let’s get really serious and find a way to start eliminating negative thoughts.
As human beings, the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances, about others, and about life in general, can drastically change how we feel moment by moment. If the stories are positive, we tend to feel good. If the stories are negative, then it follows that we will start to feel bad.
But there is more to feeling good than just thinking positive thoughts.
The details of your present reality matter, and of course make a difference, but generally speaking, you’re not going to have a good day today if you continually tell yourself otherwise.
The stories we tell ourselves don’t just change how we FEEL – they have the power to change what we see, what we experience, and what we know to be true.
This explains why 2 people can go through the exact same experience and yet interpret it completely differently – even though they went through it at the same time.
You see, each of us approaches the new experience with a different ‘story’ and a different ‘mindset’. That story is based on our conditioning, our ‘life filter’, our inner dialogue.
Your experience of life is primarily affected by the perspective you view it from. Depending upon the meaning we give to situations or events, we all feel and behave differently, and so each of us leaves this shared experience with a slightly different perception of what just happened.
And sometimes that slight difference makes all the difference in the world.
The key is to remember that perspective is everything!
There are some people who always look at things in a positive way. They have an ability to frame any situation in a way that leaves them feeling empowered and strong. They can take a seemingly negative situation and re-frame it to find the positive. For these people, the glass is always half full, no matter how empty it may look to the rest of us.
As highly intelligent women, we can REFRAME anything to create a different perspective or interpretation.
So, start today. Change your thoughts and you can change your life. And understand this – AWARENESS is the first step to change. So, all you have to do in the first instance is to notice your thoughts. Once you become aware of them, you can start to assess whether they are helping or hurting you in achieving all that you desire.
If they are not helping, then it is time to replace them. Find some new positive thoughts that will support you and move you towards your goals.
xxx Love and courage xxx
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