In my last blog post I talked about the fact that WE each are responsible for our own lives, and with that – our happiness.
The most important thing you can do every day is feel good because when you do, all good things will be attracted to you. And the great thing about happiness is that, in a lot of ways, it’s much easier than you might think.
You can either choose a thought that makes you happy or a thought that makes you anxious, and you can make that choice every moment of every day.
Yes indeed – YOU have a choice.
Here’s a question for you.
- Let’s say I transferred £86,400 to your bank today.
- En-route £300 was somehow ‘lost’.
- Would you throw the balance £86,100 away? Refuse to spend it?
Return it to me in anger because it was not exactly as you expected?
No, I thought not. Well, consider this. There are 86,400 seconds in every day. If you have a ‘spat’ with a partner or colleague first thing in the morning or perhaps an altercation in the car with someone en-route to the office that lasts for 5 minutes (300 seconds), are you REALLY going to let that incident ruin your whole day?
Seems crazy right, but that’s what we do. All the time.
Start to notice. And remember…. In every situation and in every moment, YOU have a choice. You can decide whether that spat or altercation lasts for 5 minutes – while you are ‘in it’ or extends through the full day.
And start to notice more often, how you choose to allocate your time.
Notice how much time you give away each day to emotions that just don’t serve you, or to people who do not value or respect you, or for that matter – to bad habits.
Have you ever been so exasperated by someone’s rudeness or bad behaviour that you woke up in the middle of the night thinking about them or a recent incident involving them? Or, have you ever found yourself coming home from work complaining about the same person every day?
Negative people should occupy the least amount of space in your life. Yet, their toxic behaviour can easily take up more time and energy than it deserves.
Whether you’re working alongside an ‘energy vampire’, or you’re dealing with an overly critical boss who insists your work is never good enough, negative people can wreak havoc on your life if you’re not careful.
Here are just a few simple signs that you could be giving negative people too much power in your life:
1. You talk about them a lot.
Venting your frustration might help to release your anger but the best thing you can really do is just let it go. Because the more you talk about someone’s annoying habits, rude behaviour, or offensive comments, the more power that person claims over your life.
Not to mention, every minute you spend complaining about someone, is 60 more seconds of your life that you have given/gifted even, to that person’s negativity. You could have spent that same time talking about something much more positive.
2. You think about them when they’re not around
Rehashing someone’s rude behaviour or replaying that awful conversation in your head over and over again gives a negative person power over your mind. The more time you spend thinking about them, the more time you give them.
3. You let them control your emotions.
Getting frustrated or feeling angry by someone else’s inappropriate behaviour is normal. But, it’s not healthy if you feel like someone else has control over how you feel.
Maybe a negative person can get such a rise out of you that it takes you two hours to calm down. Or, maybe your stomach churns at the mere thought of seeing a particular individual. Strong emotional and physiological reactions are a sign someone is occupying a lot of control over your life.
4. You allow them to negatively influence your behaviour.
Being surrounded by too much negativity can lead us to behave in a way that is out of character – we can momentarily ‘lower ourselves’ to the level of another.
For example, you might allow your emotions to get the best of you. Perhaps you say something mean on social media or maybe you start becoming passive aggressive in an attempt to take back a little bit of control. No matter what you do, if it isn’t in line with your values, you are giving toxic people too much power over you.
Fortunately, there are ways to take back your power from negative people. Even if you can’t physically distance yourself from a negative person, you can set healthy boundaries and prevent them from draining your mental strength.
Choose to focus on more productive things in your life. Commit to coping with your emotions in a healthy way. And decide to focus on what you can control— your thoughts, feelings, and behaviour – and of course – how you allocate your time.
x Until next week, sending you love x
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