Last week, I shared with you some ideas around things you can do to start living a happier life with immediate effect.
How has that been for you?
Have you been implementing some of the tips I suggested?
I hope so – and if you have noticed even the smallest difference in how you feel, then I invite you to continue practising. Success is achieved through a few simple behaviours that you repeat consistently so keep it going until they become habits.
One specific piece of advice included in my newsletter last week was to eliminate negative thinking – to become more aware of your thoughts and try replacing any negative thoughts with more positive ones.
And I’d like to talk a little bit more about that this week.
As human beings, the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances, about others, and about life in general, can drastically change how we feel moment by moment. If the stories are positive, we tend to feel good. If the stories are negative, then it follows that we will start to feel bad.
But there is more to feeling good than just thinking positive thoughts.
The details of your present reality matter, and of course make a difference, but generally speaking, you’re not going to have a good day today if you continually tell yourself otherwise.
But you know this already, right?
The stories we tell ourselves don’t just change how we FEEL – they have the power to change what we see, what we experience, and what we know to be true.
This is one of the primary reasons why a number of people can go through the same experience yet interpret it differently from someone else going through it at the same time. Each of us can enter a shared experience with a different story echoing through our mind. That story is based on our conditioning, our ‘filter’, our inner dialogue. Your experience of life is primarily affected by the perspective you view it from. Depending upon the meaning we give to situations or events, we all feel and behave differently, and so each of us leaves this shared experience with a slightly different perception of what just happened.
And sometimes that slight difference makes all the difference in the world.
The key is to remember that perspective is everything!
In much the same way as a photographer determines what is important in a picture by what he decides to include in the frame and what is left out, the meanings we attribute to the events in our lives are determined by the parts of our experience we choose to make important. Our interpretation of any situation depends on what we include or exclude from our frame of perception. The fact is: everything is relative. When you think one situation is bad, that is because you are comparing it to something you perceive is better.
There are some people who always look at things in a positive way. They have an ability to frame any situation in a way that leaves them feeling empowered and strong. They can take a seemingly negative situation and re-frame it to find the positive. For these people, the glass is always half full, no matter how empty it may look to the rest of us.
As highly intelligent women, we can reframe anything to create a different perspective or interpretation. In fact, there is so much ‘fake news’ or ‘spin’ in the media today that about the only thing you can know for sure is that if you don’t take responsibility for the frames you make in your life, then someone else will!
So start today. Change your thoughts and you can change your life.
And understand this – AWARENESS is the first step to change.
So, all you have to do in the first instance is to notice your thoughts.
Once you become aware of them, you can start to assess whether they are helping or hurting you in achieving all that you desire.
If they are not helping, then it is time to replace them. Find some new positive thoughts that will support you and move you towards your goals.
Also, be very aware of the language you use when you are talking to yourself. Yes – I know you do that… we all do. Don’t worry, you are not going mad! We are simply speaking our thoughts out loud.
Start to become more aware of the words that you use when you speak to yourself. When you leave the house and realise you left your handbag inside, do you patronise yourself and observe how ‘stupid’ you are? Well if you do, it’s time to stop. Be aware of even the smallest such incident. Use more positive and encouraging language – even when speaking to yourself.
In fact, especially when speaking to yourself.
You might be surprised at how much negative language you use in addressing yourself. Consider this – would you use the same language if it were your best friend who left her purse or handbag inside? I don’t think so.
So become your own best friend and communicate (with yourself) with compassion and encouragement.
xx Until next week xx
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