How are you?
I’ve been quite distracted these last few weeks but I recently enjoyed my first trip of the year – to Geneva. I spent a lovely weekend reconnecting with old friends and even meeting some new ones. I love that. I was only gone for 3 days but it felt more like a week, and I returned to Scotland feeling refreshed, energized and focused.
Whilst on the plane on my way out to Geneva, I found myself thinking about my progress this year and I became aware just how much of a role FEAR and SELF-DOUBT have played in my decisions so far in 2018. This then led me naturally to think about some of the times that I had experienced these emotions during my Corporate life, and how I handled those situations.
Have you ever felt out of your depth in your role? I have ….. many times.
The first time, I recall vividly. I was working at United Distillers (now Diageo) at the famous ‘Landmark House’ in Hammersmith. I had already been with the Company for about 3 years when I saw an internal Advertisement for a Marketing Assistant to work on the iconic Johnnie Walker Brand. I wanted that job. Soooo much. How prestigious. But the advertisement specified candidates must be ‘graduates’. I wasn’t a graduate. I had left school at 16 and started working immediately. But STILL I wanted that job. I really wanted it. I could focus on nothing else but getting it. I was determined. I was passionate. I was successful. I got the job.
And then – the reality.
WHAT? How to be a Marketing Assistant? What does that even mean? The self-doubt set in. What did I know? I’m not smart enough? I’m not good enough. I’m not a graduate! Oh shit – what have I done?
Shhhhh …… just keep your head down, Linda. Ride it out. Don’t panic! Just try to learn something new every single day.
Note to self – I’m never applying for another job in my life. This is already too much!
Everything worked out ok.
It wasn’t my last job. It wasn’t the last time I took a risk and it certainly wasn’t the last time I felt FEAR or SELF-DOUBT in my corporate life. But it was worth it. Every time.
So my message for you today is to get out of your comfort zone and FEEL THE FEAR….BUT DO IT ANYWAY
Here are my top 5 tips to help you overcome self-doubt and boost your confidence.
Say NO to Comparison-itis
Don’t fall into the trap of constantly comparing yourself to others.
When you spend all your time and energy trying to manage other peoples’ perception of you, you are sure to feel inadequate. There will always be someone who appears to be doing better, getting further or having more. Do not benchmark yourself against others’ accomplishments and possessions. Self-doubt takes a greater hold when we compare where WE are at, to where others appear to be. Know this – Where you are right now, is exactly where you are supposed to be.
Identify why you’re doubting yourself and face it
You may be doubting yourself for any number of reasons. You could be telling yourself “What if I fail?” or “What are people going to say if I mess up?” or “What if no one likes my ideas?” Anything along these lines is the reason for self-doubt because, as humans, we naturally want to feel included and wanted by others. One of our greatest natural fears is that of rejection.
So, identify why you are doubting yourself and change your view of it. Instead of saying “What if I fail,” start saying, “What if I succeed?” Instead of, “What are people going to say if I mess up,” say “What are people going to say when I achieve my goal? Alter your view of self-doubt and believe everything you do will result in your success.
Be decisive and know its ok to change your mind
In most cases, your gut feeling will direct you to the right choice because it comes from a place of intuition rather than ego… and before outside opinions get in the way. It’s very easy to get stuck in the of decision making and this ‘back-and-forth’ thought process can exacerbate self-doubt. Just make the decision and move on. And if you realise later that it may not be quite right, course correct. No problem.
Surround yourself with good people
Those people who encourage you… keep them close and seek out their advice/input on a regular basis. Distance yourself from individuals who are always pessimistic toward you, your career and your future prospects.
Fear Not the judgement of others
In my newsletter last week, I talked a lot about the fear of judgement. When you care about what everyone else is thinking of you, you limit yourself. You’d rather do nothing (and thus avoid judgement) than do something and risk criticism. Worrying about what other people think of you will continue to hold you back from taking risks and creating the life of your dreams.
You can read more on this subject by clicking here
People who are afraid to fail or to take risks, rarely move forward or grow – personally or professionally. But the more you push yourself, the more you will realize just what you are capable of. Eventually, you may even be able to reverse the negative effects of self-doubt and use it to challenge your limitations and achieve greatness.
And with that … it’s over to you.
Until next week, sending you love xx
